A.M.
it's now past 2:00
a quieting hush falls over me
the little hand moves right to 3:00
I have no desire to even breathe.
and the night is old, I feel like E. A. Poe
without a raven to inspire a poem
so now I'm writing down the proof of my fragility
because I miss the feeling of you reminding me
to live, to love, to laugh, to cry.
and now, my heart, I do know why
I miss the days you were not shattered
and scattered across the floor:
cause you were the only beating I've enjoyed.
it's nearly 4:00
©2003 Nicholas White
posted by Deirdre on 8:23 PM
narcoleptic for Jesus
maybe someday I'll fall asleep
looking up to the sky
drifting down stream on a boat I'd made in my spare time
are you here with me
are you hearing me
am I sleeping
will you sink yet another boat
looking down from the sky
to see if I'll float, You'll tip me over and I'll fall right in
are You here with me
will I ever sink with you
are You more than the tide
more than the current
more than the undertoe that pulls me away from You
should I have stayed in that boat
or should I have jumped right in with You
maybe someday I'll fall asleep
looking up to the sky
sitting here at the bottom with you, and sink down below my pride
oh Your endlessness
oh You're endlessly
oh You're endless
maybe someday I'll fall for You
maybe then I'll jump right in for You
should I wait for the maybe
or maybe I should wait on Jesus
©2003 Nicholas White
posted by Deirdre on 3:16 AM
Halls I've known
the bottle against your lips
is a poison going down
the wheel between your fingers
is a bomb timed to go
the volume in how you hate me
is a bullet now against my head
the poison, it still lingers
the wheel slips and they wont wake up
the moment seems forever
animating the memories that will haunt you
these halls I feel I've walked before
but I can't seem to unlock the doors
and I see my old classmates
I see the clock says it's all over
(for Robert)
©2003 Nicholas White
posted by Deirdre on 10:21 PM
for closure
I Want to make this just like the first time
Wouldn't believe you'd drop me the last time
Solemnly swore that I would not mind
I gave you my heart on a valentine.
Then you tore it up and gave me a lie.
I'd sell all these pieces to
anyone who'd have me wounded and unmended.
My life is unintended, the pieces scatter across the floor.
I Want to make this just like the first time
When all I was, and what I should be was
Without you. Goodbye.
©2003 Nicholas White
posted by Deirdre on 10:56 PM
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